Holding the Steady Ground
As the corona virus gets ever closer and our current situations change and develop, it can be hard to hold the steady ground. At times we may be feeling super ungrounded, unable to think or act clearly, with our minds and bodies in overdrive. So understandable at this very uncertain time AND there are plenty of ways to help us calm and soothe ourselves. This is not to minimise how serious the situation is, but to offer some ways of being with our energy that could help us respond to what we’re going through. Everyone will navigate this wave in a unique way. This blog post includes tips, thoughts and explorations on fear to help take care of ourselves psychologically and emotionally.
Fear
Fear is an emotional energy that many of us try to avoid. We may have developed strategies to mask our fear, suppress our fear or overcompensate for our fear by putting on a show of bravery. This could manifest in numbing ourselves or feeling a bit spacey, feeling irritable, trying to control everything, snapping with anger or turning to our addictions (whether that’s substances, phone-checking, food, exercise, non-stop “doing”…)
How to notice what’s going on in my inner world
Each morning we wake up feeling different, and during the day our feelings change. Sometimes expansive and creative, at other times restricted and frustrated. The freeze response might cause us to feel overwhelmed and confused. We might feel connected to everyone else one moment, helpless the next, and full of grief the next. At any time we can notice:
our breath - fast or slow? in my belly, chest, back? can I sense my heart beating?
our thoughts - see your thoughts move across the blank screen of your mind.
our whole body - any tension? can my shoulders drop a little? jaw relax?
our feelings - what’s my emotional tone right now? how does my heart feel? can I tune in to what I’m feeling at a gut level?
Choosing safety
It can actually be really helpful to acknowledge parts of ourselves that we’d prefer to ignore or move away from, like fear. When we acknowledge that we’re feeling scared, we then have a choice. Instead of looking at the world through eyes of fear and letting our thoughts spin into horrible scenes of the future, we can, with a little practice, choose to come back to the present. A simple way to do this is to identify what’s safe in the here and now: “I’m safe cooking dinner.” “Right now I’m snuggled up, reading a book.” “I’m chatting to someone I love.” These clear statements can root us in what’s going on right now.
Finding nourishment
We can consciously connect to feelings of warmth and safety in our bodies. Try thinking up a person or place that has offered you care and warmth. This can be real or imagined, past or present. A primary school teacher whose storytime you found nourishing. A superhero who was bigger and able to support. A mountain with a log cabin nestled in it. Relaxing in a warm bath. Visualise being with this person or in this place. Really let yourself go there in your mind’s eye. Let the sensations of warmth and safety stream into your body now. Become quietly aware of the sensations of this nourishment inside yourself. Perhaps you notice a place in your body where this feeling seems to reside. Perhaps there’s an overall change in the tone of your inner experience. Just stay for a few moments with whatever seems to be happening to you.
** I’m offering online video psychotherapy sessions at this time **
